Mind fucked

Once again, my period is late. I don't think I mentioned last month my period was 2 weeks late. Very depressing to have no period and a pile of BFN tests..Went to the doctor to take a blood test and the results were negative of course. Finally it shows up. Well I'm on the 29th day today and not a spot of blood. I'm seriously over my period being late; I'm getting mind fucked. It seriously messes with my emotions and gives me false hope that this could be it.

This time is the worst for me, because I take out my anger and frustration on my husband. We fight about things couples shouldn't even fight about. Although, I do believe he could spend a lot less time on WoW and more time with me. If WoW continues to be an issue, it's going to be out of this household very quick. Anyways that's another topic.

I just don't understand why a pregnancy can't happen for me? Why do I continue to have these false alarms and signs? To bear this torture? Just want to know what I have done to be denied this joy. I would give absolutely anything to be a mother, my heart hurts every month around this time. To top it off, Mother's Day is nearing and I can't escape the fact that I'm not a mother.

It's so sad that I have to try to shun myself from reproduction. No more going to baby showers, deleting pregnant friends off of Facebook, turning the channel on tv shows were a character is pregnant are things I have to do to to try to keep my sanity. This awful journey seems never ending. I'm even crying as I type this..