Even if I somehow miraculously got pregnant, then it would be ruined with the stress I'm under.
I was upset last night after logging onto FB yet again, and seeing another bitch post they're having a baby. 16 pregnant bitches I know now. Completely ridiculous. Anyways, I just lost it and started crying. I'm just convinced it's not going to happen and I can't see myself being a mother. Of course my husband doesn't offer me any comfort (physical or emotional)..I even asked for it 3 times. He just sat there repeating he doesn't know what to say to me anymore. Then give me physical comfort! We fucking talked bout this twice now! How long does it take to sink in??? So I got pissed then told him, I didn't want it anymore. Got dressed and made some nasty comment about how he couldn't get me pregnant and left. Long story short, we got into it really bad. And now I WANT to go home. I'm seriously about to lose my mind.
He thinks it's hard to hear about his sperm, how the fuck does he think I feel? I want a baby so badly I'd do ANYTHING to get pregnant..he just shrugs his fucking shoulders. I also feel that since the issue lies with him, that he needs to be a lot more fucking supportive and comforting than he has been!!!
Honestly, if I would have known about that SA then I wouldn't have chose the Army life with him. It makes it that much harder. Then I think of how we can't get along and feel that it's really not worth it anymore. Maybe that's why I can't get pregnant because I made a mistake in marrying him? I don't know anymore. I feel like by staying I'm just prolonging the inevitable. Then again, I think who is going to want me after I get divorced? No one, so I feel stuck.
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