I know we've scoffed at those fertiles with PD. How the hell can they be depressed, they are able to reproduce?!
When I got PD, I felt like the worst mother. I didn't resent my child, nor did I want to cause him any harm. He would get to the point of inconsolable crying and I couldn't do anything to soothe him. However, my DH could pick him up and he would instantly calm. What on earth was I doing wrong?! He was fed, clean nappy, and warm. I was calm, just sleep deprived, and in a normal mood. I'd only become frustrated with myself, when I couldn't soothe my own child. Was I really that crap of a mother a few weeks into motherhood? I felt like I had no business being a mother.
It got to the point of where I would start sobbing when he would be inconsolable. On those days DH was out of the house for a few hours doing other things, and I would ring him to come home. DH didn't make me feel any better by bringing up how will I cope when he gets a job. I was doing the best I could, after all I was infertile for 3 years. The transition into motherhood hadn't been smooth.
A couple of weeks later, the inconsolable fits ceased. I'm not sure what initially caused them, but thank goodness it is over with.
I've learned that there's a different side to PD. It happens, even when you love your child to pieces and are trying your best to meet their every need.
