I survived, and lived to tell the tale

Please pardon my melodrama pertaining to SIL. 

I walked through the threshold to acknowledge my BIL and their lot. SIL didn't even look at me, which was alright in my book. The less I have to fake it, the better. As the afternoon progressed, she said a few words to me, mainly played with my baby, and went on about staying out of my way. 

THEN.....as they were leaving to go attend her side of the family's Christmas party, she gave my husband a hug and then went in for an awkward side hug with me. Yes. A hug. I about died. The most awkward and forced hug ever. 

For one, I'm not a big hugger. And two, I don't want to embrace my enemy!! I'd rather eat a onion like an apple! Side note, I HATE, HATE onions. Yuck! 

Hopefully that is enough for the next 4 years, until I have to see them again. It's enough for me. 

After 4 years, I have to face SIL I hate.

*Grumble* Grumble*

Just a memory refresher, this is the one who told me that my infertility was nothing and that she "struggled" for 13 months to get her Clomid twins. And then a second oopsie pregnancy a year later. Yeah. That SIL.

She and her lot will be in town staying at the in-laws around my son's 1st birthday. I haven't seen the snooty cow since the end of 2010. Of course I have to bring my son over there for festivities..which we have it worked out he can be over there Saturday. This means I must put on a fake smile and sit on my hands so I don't hit her in the face.

Truth be told, I don't even feel like going to the in laws on that Saturday. Cowbag SIL being there makes it even worse. Ugh. God give me strength that day.

Yep, still swearing off baby showers.

I actually entertained the idea of going to one. Silly me. It was for my husband's cousin, who is this newly reformed woman whom has sworn off her party ways. *cough* Bullshit *cough*. The girl was 7 weeks pregnant and still hanging out in bars. Tacky.

Anyways, she made this massive registry at like 3 different baby shops..claiming on the (her and her fiancé) invitations they would prefer if attendees shopped at Babies R Us first. You don't tell people that are buying you gifts, where you would like them to shop. Then she also specified that she didn't want anyone to wrap the presents. Strange.

My MIL, who attended, said as she walked thru the threshold with baby gift, she was told to hold up her gift for a photo. After her picture was taken, she was to be escorted on as the next attendee needed to have their photo snapped. Where is this going, you say?

It turns out the pregnant cousin in all her selfish glory, wanted the photos snapped, so she knew who bought what and them unwrapped, so they wouldn't see her look of disappointment if she didn't like it. Love, you couldn't fake it? And if you didn't particularly care for it, then it's nothing to return it to the baby store for store credit!!! Needless to say, I'm glad I didn't waste time or energy attending that horrible, tasteless event.

Seriously. Royal baby 2?

Hahaha, and of course she's hiring a nurse to help out with the newest addition. Duh you fuckwit, taking care of a child isn't easy. I'm sure two, ages 2 and under is no cake walk.

Min and Max

I wonder what is the minimum amount of time, I should be suffering from chronic pain from hemorrhoids? I couldn't get through to the doctor's office today. Apparently everyone is ill on Mondays. Just put your big girl panties on and go to work, people!!

Also wondering what is the maximum amount of time I should still be wearing maternity clothes? Still in maternity pants, and a belly band with my regular denim. That mummy tummy can't be tucked. Lol.

Almost 4 years of marriage down the shitter

Now I know there's a reason why I was infertile. I didn't need to have a child with my husband. What have I done? My poor son is brought into this mess. I feel so selfish, because I wanted more than anything to be a mother. It was probably never meant to be. I should have just accepted the infertile card and left it at that.

As you know, fights with my husband are pretty explosive because he has a serious anger issue. I thought we have solved this last year. Apparently, not.

He went out on a bachelor party the day before Mother's Day. I didn't want him to go and he knew that, yet he insisted. I didn't feel like arguing so I told him not to be out all night. He comes home at 4am. I'm so upset and feel very disrespected. I let him in (I didn't have to do that). Things escalate from there, a lot of shouting, and I lost it when he called me an ignorant bitch. You know I'm upset and feel disrespected, yet you offer no remorse. I took drawers of some of his things and threw them on the ground telling him to get his things and leave. He screams at me some more and tells me I'm losing him. At this point, I honestly don't care. If I continue to back down, I'm letting him know that it's ok to treat me this way. Truthfully, I'm sick of it. It's not okay to disrespect me in my father's home and call me names. I think it is abuse. He gives me more threats that he will ram the car with his truck and neither of us will have a car. I'm so close to calling the authorities.

I told him he has 2 hours and he can collect his belongings and leave. I don't want him around me at all, ruining my Mothers's Day some more. What did I do to deserve this?

Happy Mother's Day to me. :(

I've got to be mad!

I'm going to talk about motherhood in this post.




As I've said before there's different choices in motherhood and some of them happen to have a cult following. It seems like I've fallen prey to one of these cults. Particularly the one that Tarquin's mother is leader of: Cloth Nappies. Yes, I know. Whenever I went into those shops, the hippies would pounce, trying to convert me from disposables.

So what made me change my tune? It's certainly not the extra load of laundry, the hazy economical statistics, or being green. I like that it saves us money, thousands actually.

I decided to make the trip 2 Saturdays ago to a less judgmental cloth nappy shop. There I purchased 2 carefully selected nappies, based off my own research. There's tons of brands, and there are even counterfeit ones! Yes, really. We went home and tried them after several washings, and love them.
They come in a million different colors of the rainbow and endless prints. Not to mention they're addicting. It's like collecting cards or having your collection of Barbies and their assorted attire. Now it has become a hobby. It is so bad, that I'm trolling Ebay for a limited edition print that is marked up way over retail value. I'm only a few weeks into this, and I already need an intervention. *Face palm*