Yeah, I'm getting induced. Not entirely thrilled about it, but it is necessary and I don't wish to risk him any longer in there. He wiggles about and stretches out my tum like he's restless, yet he won't come out on his own. Stubborn baby.
I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless for tomorrow. I spent the last 3 years yearning for our baby, the pregnancy, and all the joys that come with it. Now that the final result is literally around the corner, I can't help but be ridden with anxiety.
-Holy shit, I'm going to be a mother!
-What if I cannot get my baby to stop crying? Does that make me a crap mother?
-I can burp him by supporting his head and doing it over the shoulder? Why in the world would you want to do it over your lap?
-My husband is on board to be hands on, I hope he doesn't bail to his parent's home when it starts to get rough.
I've read those baby books, but my head is still spinning with information. Everyone has a different opinion or way of going about raising their child. I know how to be infertile and am quite educated on the matter, I just don't know how to be a mother. Frankly, I can read every piece of literature on the subject and still feel ignorant!
Alright, I need to stop psyching myself out. I'll be fine. Hopefully.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
No baby, just yet.
The wee one wants to stay in there and keep eating such good food. Lol. I'm going to discuss an eviction date Monday with the OB, as they won't let me go past the 14th.
Nursery is completely finished. I'm just waiting on some storage bins to arrive and we need to take a second look at a rocking recliner. My father's house renovations are coming along nicely. I don't mind painting as it is water based, but hopefully he hires someone to do the carpet. I can't be bothered, as I know squat about carpentry. Our room is still under construction, so we're shacking up with his parents for a little while.
I've been getting on with MIL just fine.....until..........she told me one night the reason I was pregnant was because of God. Also, her and her church group had been praying for the pregnancy. Now because of dealing with IF for so long, my faith has been flushed down the loo. I felt that was such a patronizing thing to say! That's fine, if she wants to believe that. Just don't force your comments onto me, when I say it was sheer dumb luck. Anatomically, a sufficient amount of sperm (when my husband's count is low) aided one sperm penetrating the ova. Timing was finally accurate. How that happened after 3 years, I don't know. But I wouldn't solely say it was all God. I asked God everyday for 2 years. Infertility was breaking me and my marriage down. He never answered. Thus I figured he had more important requests or was just outright ignoring me. That's when my faith went down the shitter.
Anyways, I've been very lucky to have a good pregnancy with no issues. It's comical, as everyday I wake up and still check under the duvet to make sure I have a bump. As if I'm going to wake up from this dream. Even though I'm excited and nervous for his arrival, I'll certainly miss the pregnant part.
Nursery is completely finished. I'm just waiting on some storage bins to arrive and we need to take a second look at a rocking recliner. My father's house renovations are coming along nicely. I don't mind painting as it is water based, but hopefully he hires someone to do the carpet. I can't be bothered, as I know squat about carpentry. Our room is still under construction, so we're shacking up with his parents for a little while.
I've been getting on with MIL just fine.....until..........she told me one night the reason I was pregnant was because of God. Also, her and her church group had been praying for the pregnancy. Now because of dealing with IF for so long, my faith has been flushed down the loo. I felt that was such a patronizing thing to say! That's fine, if she wants to believe that. Just don't force your comments onto me, when I say it was sheer dumb luck. Anatomically, a sufficient amount of sperm (when my husband's count is low) aided one sperm penetrating the ova. Timing was finally accurate. How that happened after 3 years, I don't know. But I wouldn't solely say it was all God. I asked God everyday for 2 years. Infertility was breaking me and my marriage down. He never answered. Thus I figured he had more important requests or was just outright ignoring me. That's when my faith went down the shitter.
Anyways, I've been very lucky to have a good pregnancy with no issues. It's comical, as everyday I wake up and still check under the duvet to make sure I have a bump. As if I'm going to wake up from this dream. Even though I'm excited and nervous for his arrival, I'll certainly miss the pregnant part.
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