Monday, November 14, 2011

Dreading the Holidays

These upcoming holidays are so family-baby oriented. Thanksgiving is all about family, Christmas is about Jesus's birthday, and small children ripping open gifts. It's all too much, really. Last year, I was hoping to get my birthday or Christmas wish of being pregnant with our baby. This year, I'm pathetically asking for the same thing. I was planning on being a mother already!!! Everyone else gets to be a mother, why not me?

Thank god, I managed to persuade my husband to stay home for Thanksgiving. I don't want to face babies or a particular bump. Maybe I can put my mind at ease and we'll conceive this month. I'm trying hard to be positive, but it hasn't gotten me anywhere yet.

Christmas on the other hand, I'm dreading..I don't want to go to his parent's house and be faced with babies and possibly the bump I'm avoiding. Only because it will take everything I got in me, not to strangle the shit out of Sarah. That bitch will get hers.

Anyways, I'm going to spend most of my time hiding out at my mom's where it's baby free. Until she starts drinking and getting on her soapbox about being a grandmother. Yeah, I got it. I'm trying the very best I can, but there's nothing more I can do about it. Unless you or dad want to pay for my IVF.

It's also going to suck, because my husband will be wanting to spend time at his parent's so I doubt I'll get to see him all that much since I refuse to go over there when Sarah's there. Hopefully, they stay down there. I don't want to face them, I'm already going thru enough.

I just hope I can have my BFP this month..it would be nice to get pregnant before I turn 27.

No comments:

Post a Comment