I join this forum that's basically a support group for women LTTC and it's basically another Facebook. Really can't help but be a teensy bit jealous that these women are all conceiving or able to pay for infertility treatments while I'm stuck trying naturally. More or less, I'm going to delete my profile soon and just isolate myself virtually and physically from the world.
It sucks that I can't move forward and get IVF or conceive a baby. Every period hurts, the longer I go in this journey the more that it hurts. My heart aches during this struggle. What am I being punished for? I haven't done anything..I try so hard to be a good person and a better wife. What did I do to deserve this? I can't handle infertility anymore. I'm trying and trying but it's just not working. As of right now there's no putting an end to this, but I can't stop trying naturally. Everyone else who's gotten pregnant has told me not to give up. Well what do you do when you want to give up because the pain is just too much to endure any longer? Then do you get pregnant?
I wish I could do something about this, but obviously it's out of my control. Too bad, there's not a magic wand I can wave so I can get pregnant. Struggling to conceive a baby is tearing me apart. I'm afraid that when I finally do get pregnant I'm not going to be able to enjoy it, out of fear of miscarriage.
I'd give ANYTHING, do ANYTHING to be able to see those 2 pink lines.
I'm a good person and I'd be a wonderful mother. Not like the woman who strangled her baby and dumped him in the trash, or a mother who murders her baby then lies to the police about the baby missing. Those monsters don't deserve to call themselves mothers.
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