I'm just so mad at life, people around me, my husband, and myself sometimes. I just want to feel better instead of having mixed emotions all the time, that don't include happiness. I feel angry, depressed, anxious, annoyed, nauseated, overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated, sad, pathetic, etc. It's so hard to be a Positive Patty when you can't help but be a Negative Nancy when all the negative outweighs the positive in your life. Trying to deal with infertility, stress, depression, anxiety, and attempting to be positive is a fucking full time job..not to mention overwhelming.
It's bad that I want to skip my birthday..I don't care to turn 27. More wrinkles, gray hairs, getting closer to 30, and still fucking CHILDLESS!!! Ughhh. How do I even make it day to day?
My SIL's husband is coming back from his deployment and will be back for 18 months, so it's only a matter of time before she's pregnant with her 2nd. As if the other one's pregnancy wasn't enough to deal with this year. Maybe I'll miraculously get pregnant naturally this next year. HA! Wishful thinking!
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