I believe for the New Year, I'm just going to delete my Fertile Book. There's no need to have it any longer, it just make me feel even more pathetic.
I saw that a girl with stinking cystic fibrosis is pregnant with a honeymoon baby. WTF? One of the effects of CF is infertility!! Not to mention her life expectancy is 37. I mean that's great she's living her dreams but what about when she dies and leaves her husband as a single parent? That's how bad it is, a girl with CF gets pregnant but me a healthy 26 year old gets jack shit. FML.
Since my period decided to be 8 fucking days late, I now can't get drunk on Christmas and maybe not even NYE. Unless, my period comes early or on NYE. Watch it be late and I get it days later, making me sober on NYE. Gotta love the irony in my life.
Despite all this ranting, I'm trying to remain hopeful that I can get a BFP this month. Wouldn't it be great to start off my new year with a pregnancy?? Gosh I would die for that..give anything to have that. I mean we're leaving this awful base next year, why can't I have a positive piss stick too? I'm so desperate.
I hope to God I'm not going to end up childless not by choice. If that happens then I'm just going to throw myself into my career, further my education to maybe even a doctorates and buy materialistic things to make up for that emptiness. I can't have children then I want $$ and lots of it. Not that it will make up for it in any way, but at least I can buy Louboutins, a Mercedes, travel all over the world, things people with children can't afford to do.
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