Tonight I attended my niece and nephew's first birthday party. At first I didn't think I could handle it, but after being surrounded by my husband's family I pushed it to the back of my mind. Pretty proud of myself.
I talked to my friend who just found out she is pregnant, in all actuality I really am happy for her. But at the same time I can't but feel a little jealous that she has joined the ranks of pregnant women. Oddly enough, she is the 2nd girl I have talked to in the past week about struggling to conceive who has found out she's pregnant. Also, this website where I volunteer and offer sex, love, relationship, dating advice, this poster was also struggling to conceive has also fallen pregnant. It's like when does it stop? WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN? Do I not deserve to be a mother? They say "Relax and it will happen when you least expect it". I've applied this concept to men, and I found my husband when I wasn't looking for a man. Now, we've already tried the casual route from March-Sept., and I'm still not expecting.
So now I feel like if I don't work hard at this, give it all my effort, and put forth that 110% that it's never going to happen..If you want something you gotta work for it, right? Hard work pays off. We will see now won't we? Or all this hard work will drive me over the edge.
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