Honestly, I'm so sick and tired of talking about making a baby on here and in everyday life..I'm also tired of it consuming my train of thought. Why do we have to procreate?
Period is due next Saturday and I'm already broke out like no other, and I know it's coming. Deep down, I know my husband won't be able to get me pregnant. Unless, I want to keep on trying naturally for 5 years. But we don't have 5 years, seeing as he deploys every other year. Not to mention he's 31 so at 35, his sperm count will be shot to the shit. Ultimate fail, no winning here.
But what's the point of trying for a baby when my marriage is going down the shitter? I'm actually tired of fighting for it, and am going to stand by to watch it go up in flames. Why should I always be the one to try to mend things, and try to solve our problems? Marriage takes two!!! It should have been a big red flag waving that he was 29, good looking, decent job, and single.
Right now he's sleeping on the couch downstairs, and I stay upstairs in our bedroom when he's home. I don't want to even look at him. So ashamed that our marriage isn't working and he isn't even trying to get past his hard headedness to try to fix it. I've already said everything there is to say the only thing I can do is repeat myself which I'm sick and tired of doing. Maybe it's all my fault because I married a man that I didn't know all that well. Thinking we were compatible when secretly we weren't.
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