Someone ban me from Internet shopping!

First things first, the OB gave me a prescription for three little magic pills for my yeast infection. Hallelujah! I only had a minor itch this evening...rather than wanting to take a back scratcher to my vulva.

Few posts ago, I bought some gender specific bibs. No big deal, as I can take them back if the baby is a boy. However, I just feel like I'm having a girl. The OB also thinks it's a girl with the high heart rate. It's been taking at different times and has been over 160. My issue is, I'm really targeting the pink items, when I'm not even 100 percent sure!

I was hovering over the order button today on some sleep sacks that were at a very good deal. Half in my cart were gender neutral and the rest were pink. The only problem is they're non refundable, because they're sold on a discount website. Then I think no big deal, I could always mail them to friends who wind up having a girl. ;) I don't know what to do! Maybe I should just make my best mate take my iPad, Crapberry, and MacBook so I cannot Internet shop. It may be intervention time. Lol.

I want to scratch my vagina with a tree branch!

No, I don't have a STI! I've barely had sex with my husband. Either we've been too tired or I'm always at work.

I believe I have a YI from that damn UTI antibiotic I was taking, or it's BV. Either way both happen to be common in pregnant women. The dirty little secrets of pregnancy. On top of that, I have hemorrhoids! Which is to be expected, as I'm often constipated.

It was rather embarrassing throwing some preparation H in my shopping trolley and checking out with the cashier. Yes people, I have rhoids!! Lol.

There isn't much I can do about the itchy vagina, until I go to the OB Tuesday. I'm going to beg mercessly that he give oral medication, or a prescription strength cream to clear that shit up. I've never had an infection down there, and holy hell does it hurt. Right now, I wish to take a garden rake to scratch my downstairs.

I know I'm whining a bit. I keep telling myself, I'd much rather have an itchy vagina and arsehole than still be struggling with infertility.

Visiting in-laws and my family

It's been quite a while, but we haven't been home to visit the family. Mainly, because his not pregnant anymore, sister was there since Nov. I just couldn't handle it, and of course I received flack for it. Whatever. Even though his sister was disappointed, she still understood to a fertile extent.

The first week of July we're going home for a week to visit family. I'm happy because this is a much needed holiday (although I wouldn't mind heading to the beach and splashing about like a whale). Then again, the infertile part of me comes out and dreads it. They're happy for us about the baby, and even sent me a nice Mother's Day card. But that doesn't make up for the backlash I've received and stupid comments that have come out of their mouth. I should forgive and forget......but I do know some comments referencing IF are coming my way. I can only image, "See, God finally gave you a baby. I bet you stopped trying and it happened." Those just make my blood boil! Ughhhh.

Then there's the stress of being tossed about the whole week. I have to visit my grandmother, share time between my divorced parents, and spend a little time with my aunt who just lost her husband. Plus factoring in what the in laws want to do, and this is the last time we'll see his sister and her 2 kids before they pack it up for Italy. A week doesn't seem like enough time, but that's all we've got at the moment. I just hope I get a little time to relax in and not spread myself so thin.

The beach is still sounding good.

Just another day.

Like me on Mother's Day, my DH just feels like this is another day. I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere for dinner, or want anything in particular. Nope. Works for me. Maybe next year we'll feel how we're supposed to on those days. I'm assuming there is a certain sentimental feeling you have on those days? I don't know.

I've bought a few baby items since the pregnancy, high chair (which I got a fab deal on), carseat, breast feeding pillow, and mother has bought some stuff as well. Mainly stuff that is gender neutral. Well since hearing the heartbeat twice now, and I know that's not a foolproof method to tell, I'm convinced we're having a girl. Other signs point to a girl as well. Gosh I'm still looking into "signs" even during pregnancy!! So I caved and bought some girl bibs for sale at a steal. Silly, I know....but I couldn't pass up the deal (they're the waterproof ones) and there's no time limit on returning them in case I have a boy.

I don't care what I'm having....I just want the baby to be healthy. I'm really nervous about that, because I was using my acne medicine (oral and topical) during the 5 weeks I had no idea I was pregnant. And I had about half a pitcher one weekend of a mixed drink containing Malibu Rum. In which I do feel incredibly guilty for, but I had no clue.

Is this warranted?

I feel like since it took a long time getting pregnant, I deserve to splurge a little on a couple of baby items. We'll save a lot of money on other items. But I suppose there is items parents to be will splurge on. I would like to invest a little more money into a decent stroller and get a really nice diaper bag. The crib will be a steal for the quality, the high chair brand new I got for cheap, and other things have been on sale. Plus, there's the baby shower down the road. And I've tailored my list down to the necessities.

Is it bad that I want to buy a Kate Spade diaper bag and spend close to $500 on a stroller? I'm just so confused at where the money should be invested. I know first hand with handbags, you're going to have to pay a little more for features, and quality. Diaper bags shouldn't be any different. An added bonus I don't have to lug around a diaper bag, handbag and, baby. The diaper bag can also be my handbag. Strollers are another story, I've got a couple picked out. But there's just so much to choose from! Ahhhhh.

HPT advert rant!

Even now, I still mute through those annoying adverts. Have you seem that E.P.T brand one?

It has the test and a woman's voice saying, "Be positive, be positive.", low and behold it's positive. Then below it pops up, "elastic pants time". Oh how clever, haha EPT, elastic pants time. No. Seriously who comes up with this shit?

Then the First Response one. "Your body knows it's pregnant before your first missed period". Well no shit, Sherlock! It's us women who have to piss on a stick just to get answer. If only our body could talk back to us. I know mine often has a mind of its own.

Perplexed by maternity wear

As most of you know, I LOVE fashion. If I could become the next Rachel Zoe (minus the anorexia), I would. But I live in the real world of where my last name isn't Versace and Victoria Beckham wasn't my mother's best friend. *Sigh*

So when I found out I was pregnant, I was interested to see how far maternity, erm fashion, has come.
It looks like it has come along with the ruched side tops built to last thru the whole 9 months, but I'm not getting the purpose of other "pieces" or ensembles.

1. Horizontal Stripes. We all know the fashion rule, but sometimes ignore it. Yes, horizontal stripes make you look wide. Your midsection, arse, D. All of the above. However, wearing thin horizontal striped tops isn't so bad. I steer clear of them all together because I'm short waisted.

So why the hell are 85% of maternity tops horizontal stripes?!! I didn't wear them prior to pregnancy, so why would I wear them now with my widening waistline?! Yeah, go figure that one out Motherhood Maternity.

2. Maternity bathing suits. I just love bikini shopping, about as much as I love bra shopping. Yes please, sign me for shopping for a suit that has even more spandex!

Argh, someone call Sea World, Shamu has escaped!!! Oh wait no, that's a pregnant woman in not so teensy weensy polka dot swimsuit. While every other woman is parading her pert arse in a monokini, or barely there bikini....I'm trying to contain my bump and veiny tits.

3. Bondage boob tops. You know those ones with extra fabric around the tits, making them looking bigger than than already are. Or sometimes you look like you have 1 big whole boob. Lol. Those tops shouldn't be allowed to be manufactured.

I will tell you the best outfit you can wear while pregnant besides a bed sheet or living in your pajamas 24-7, maxi dresses! No binding pants or belly bands to wear...just slip on a cotton, rayon dress that covers everything and go on about your day!

Death in the Family

My uncle has just lost his battle with brain cancer. He wasn't just an uncle either, he was the cool uncle. My aunt Karen would always babysit me if my mother was in school, and of course I'd eagerly await the arrival of my uncle Edward from work. He had cool stories to tell and would always like to get my aunt winded up for the rest of the night. But of course they loved each other dearly, as they've been married when she was 18. The kind of eternal love you only see in movies.

I can't stop being upset. I'd like to go to the funeral but, unfortunately work most likely be as understanding. There's also the fact of last seeing him consumed by the cancer, and not how he usually looks. He was close to 60, but the cancer left him looking like a little old man. In my mind, I have preserved memories of what my uncle Edward looks like and the life he lived.

I know death is a part of life, just wish it allowed more time and maybe a warning when it what was time to say goodbye.