Perplexed by maternity wear

As most of you know, I LOVE fashion. If I could become the next Rachel Zoe (minus the anorexia), I would. But I live in the real world of where my last name isn't Versace and Victoria Beckham wasn't my mother's best friend. *Sigh*

So when I found out I was pregnant, I was interested to see how far maternity, erm fashion, has come.
It looks like it has come along with the ruched side tops built to last thru the whole 9 months, but I'm not getting the purpose of other "pieces" or ensembles.

1. Horizontal Stripes. We all know the fashion rule, but sometimes ignore it. Yes, horizontal stripes make you look wide. Your midsection, arse, D. All of the above. However, wearing thin horizontal striped tops isn't so bad. I steer clear of them all together because I'm short waisted.

So why the hell are 85% of maternity tops horizontal stripes?!! I didn't wear them prior to pregnancy, so why would I wear them now with my widening waistline?! Yeah, go figure that one out Motherhood Maternity.

2. Maternity bathing suits. I just love bikini shopping, about as much as I love bra shopping. Yes please, sign me for shopping for a suit that has even more spandex!

Argh, someone call Sea World, Shamu has escaped!!! Oh wait no, that's a pregnant woman in not so teensy weensy polka dot swimsuit. While every other woman is parading her pert arse in a monokini, or barely there bikini....I'm trying to contain my bump and veiny tits.

3. Bondage boob tops. You know those ones with extra fabric around the tits, making them looking bigger than than already are. Or sometimes you look like you have 1 big whole boob. Lol. Those tops shouldn't be allowed to be manufactured.

I will tell you the best outfit you can wear while pregnant besides a bed sheet or living in your pajamas 24-7, maxi dresses! No binding pants or belly bands to wear...just slip on a cotton, rayon dress that covers everything and go on about your day!