Infertile 139 revisited..

Did I say my wanker professor was done lecturing about infertility?? Silly me, I'm mistaken!!!

He went there. Again. I just rolled my eyes, and sat there with this sour look on my face. I know he saw me, because I'm one of those overachievers who like to sit in the front of class. I'm on Cycle # (lost fucking count now) Day 3 of AF and you're revisiting a subject, we've already established you know jack shit about. Really?!?!

He spoke about how your temp spikes before ovulation and you can use this as a tool to maximize pregnancy. Duh, and it doesn't do anything for infertiles. And like these fertile bitches in this lecture class need help "maximizing" their chances. Then he went on to speak about the spike in twins due to fertility drugs. Blah, blah, blah. My eyes glazed over and I stopped listening half way through his 4th(?) infertile lecture. Come off it already!!!!!!

I'm starting to think people are getting misinformed by their professors in AP II about infertility! This is where the problem lies. I've already corrected him to some extent, then he gives me this filthy look like he's teaching the class. So I have to pipe down if I want a good grade, as he is the department head. I knew I should've stayed home today because of my endo. At least he described that accurately!

On top of that it's also been one of those rainy, crap days. My jogging pants and sporty little MK flats are sopping wet. I need some wellies but my calves are monstrous, so shopping for them is a complete pain in the bum.

Ughhh, I need chocolate.

Just one of those infertile days

Well it didn't help the fact that I had this eerie dream about my husband trying to give his sister our baby when it was born. Why she needs our child when she has two, I have no idea. Maybe it has something to do with her and the other both completing their families before I even get pregnant. Depressing, isn't it?

I sat on the toilet randomly crying over IF. I'm rather mad at myself, because I was doing so good by letting it fall to the bottom of my mental list. This seems to happen before AF gets here or day of AF. I already know she's coming, as she does every fucking month. I know the menstrual cycle will end when I go through menopause, but when does this nasty infertile cycle end? Hopefully a hell of a lot sooner than menopause.

Infertility 139, or was it AP 139 that I signed up for?

In Anatomy & Physiology 2, we've been studying the reproductive system. Lovely. My professor has opened the can of worms called Infertility. He asks what it means to the students, naturally I answer. Then he goes into a spiel of which I half listen. Pal, I deal with this on a daily basis and don't need further educating on the matter. HOWVER, he asks what is the first question a fertility specialist will ask a couple when they seek help. I said, how long have you been trying. Then they'll ask about the women's cycle. He told me that was incorrect and proceeded to tell me it was. "What kind of undergarments does the male wear, boxers or briefs?". The professor (department head, mind you) then goes on to say that could be the issue of not being able to conceive right there. EXCUSE ME??!! That's irrelevant information to an infertile woman, because she would have already googled the shit out of causes of low sperm count. Once you're to the point of FS, you've already tried every trick, myth and are just ready to drop $$$ on fertility treatments. Don't try to lecture me on a subject I know a great deal about. In return you know very little as you have 2 sons, who then went on to have children. Wanker. That was only last week.

Today we revisited IF once again. He discussed endo and when another girl asked about PCOS, he knew very little. I wanted to knock him off his Powerpoint and teach the damn lecture myself.

The one thing he said that I will agree with, is that you should not give "advice" to infertile woman who is just merely wanting to vent about her struggle. That is the most intelligent comment I've heard him say.

He finally came off IF and went on to the rest of the reproductive system. Then after we finish that chapter it's onto pregnancy! Yay, such joy! I suppose I should pay close attention. *Rolls eyes*

New toy and still dreading that move.

I bought an iPad last week, so obsessed with it right now! Actually use it more than my old MacBook, really. Figure why not buy a few nice things before money gets tight. I work my arse off, dealing with idiots anyways. Besides it comes in handy in the kitchen when making dinner, and it makes shoe shopping more convenient with those little apps! Apple really does have some geniuses working for them, lol.

As far as IF goes, it's way down there on the priority list due to this upcoming move. Though I will still try and hope for a favorable outcome. That's all I can do, really. I've gotten to the point of after ovulation I lose track of where I'm at in the TWW. Basically, the TWW is no longer bothersome as it had been. Still not fond of being in a 5 ft radius of pregnant women or newborns though. Oh well. Also hoping when we move back in with my father, SIL will be gone with the newborn and my niece so I can put off being around them. Just not emotionally ready for that right now.

Oh I did forget to mention that former pregnant cow texted me a few weeks ago last minute wondering if I would watch her 6 month old.  Normally I don't mind, I'm a very thorough baby sitter. I sit down and prepare a list of questions to ask and make notes to aid with the sitting. When children are in my care, I make sure safety first and that their needs are met at all times. That was also a bad time because we had found out he was being medically discharged. I was in no state to give care to an infant atm. She said she understood and then found someone else to watch him for the night. THEN, she posts this ridiculous status on Facebook saying thank you to her real mates. Erm since when we ever mates, bitch? It's also not my responsibility to provide free care to your infant. As a parent you need to make arrangements ahead of time! Besides, she could qualify for free child are from government programs.  She gets on my last nerve.

That damn cow is still trying to be mates!

I have a second person growing out of my cheek. This nasty under the skin zit that just won't go away, and you know putting concealer on it will irritate it even further. Disgusting. Never mind the fact, I'm back on Doxy (oral acne pills). I suppose it's from the stress of going back to uni and the upcoming move.

Yesterday, I literally had no time to sit on the toilet (but once). Woke up, took my husband to work, threw the clothes in the wash when I saw I had no clean work clothes, pinned those up to dry, ran to school for a while, waited 20 minutes for my idiot advisor who never showed up, ran back home to pee, eat food, pick up husband, throw half wet clothes on and run to work. Yeah.

The one former pregnant cow has been kissing my arse ever since I told her off about the drama. She then proposes this idea that we should be weight loss buddies. Excuse me? She then said she didn't mean anything but it. I'm a US 8/UK12, I'm fine with my body atm. I know when I move back in with my father who has stints in his heart, I'll drop down to a US 6. She then when on to tell me what the diet consisted of, eating all fruit one day, eating all veggies the next day, basically starving the shit out of yourself. I told her this, and then told her the real way she needs to lose weight. Basically stop eating McDonald's all the time!! She also proposed that when it gets warmer outside we should take her son out for walking. Erm, where did I say I was going to be your weight loss buddy??!!! Ugh, this girl just doesn't get it. I cannot wait till I quit that place. I already gave them my notice way in advance.

Rants and bacon cheeseburger eggrolls

Those bacon cheeseburger eggrolls were AMAZING...but oh so bad for you. I only ate 2, and still feel really bloated. In fact, I felt slightly bloated yesterday and today I'm a blimp. It's odd because my appetite has gone done the pisser after dealing with stress and this uni semester. Maybe I'm pregnant, bahahaha yeah right.

Like my lovely friends, I like to read the celeb gossip when I'm bored or procrastinating. However they have been a surge of pregnancies. Normally I don't give a shit, but these 2 make me want to punch the next person who makes me angry.

1. Kim K's oopsie.

As if she doesn't have enough attention on her already, she has to go claiming she was infertile. No, no you are not an infertile activist, bitch. Trying to conceive for 8 months doesn't mean you're infertile. Oh wait, you weren't trying!!! Also when she decided to get checked on the same time as Khloe, she checked out as normal. If I were her infertile sister, I'd be pissed. Infertility is trying to conceive for years, not a matter of months. Twat.

2. That dumb girl on Teen Mom 2...you know the one that her mother has custody of her son and she's on jail on and off.

That idiot had to quote herself as being fortunate at having a second chance. No. A second chance would be laying off the hash pipe, heroin, coke, whatever else you're on, getting an education, and then getting custody of the son you gave birth to. Instead, you marry a guy you've known for months, still in and out of jail, and now you're having his baby?!!! Sort yourself out before adding anyone else to your fucked up world. Cow.

Oh mother will you learn, or you going to be just as bad as everyone else?

Every time I call my mother she's always got to talk about someone who she knows that is going to be a grandmother, or someone else I went to secondary school with is pregnant. She knows I'm IF and I've told her countless times I don't give a shit or do not want to hear it!

What does she do, she tells me that so and so is going to be a grandmother. Her daughter happens to treat her like shit and surprise they got married, then pregnant a few months later. I really don't fucking care and stop telling me!!!!! I know that she wants to be a grandmother, I want to be a mother, but I'm INFERTILE!!! Pisses me off to no end.

It's as if she has yet to accept the fact when I'm infertile, have told her I am, and it's been nearly 3 years we've been trying!

At least I'll be at my father's house, who won't inform everyday of trivial pregnancies.