Sometimes I feel like infertility is pointing its finger and laughing at me. Haha, look at pathetic Jackie , lets make her hurt and suffer even more! It's like infertility is this nasty enemy who's sole purpose in life is to make mine hell!
What prompted these infertile thoughts is seeing the young dirty girl (their apartment is absolutely filthy and I'm certain they're the reason why we had bugs) and her husband tote along an infant. I knew she had been pregnant! Just pisses me off because in no way are they ready mentally for a child. They drink all week, she has no job or schooling sits at home, and their place is filthy with garb all over the floor. Nothing else to do? Lets get pregnant! Bitch. That makes the fourth pregnancy in this unit and we haven't even been here a year! There is a total of 4 new infants, the other had just moved out. Did I sign a lease to live in the fertile portion of housing? What the fuck?!!
I need to keep reminding myself just a couple more months till we leave here, not that going back near the inlaws is ideal but at least my father doesn't live on a fertile block.
I want to bang my head on the well, rip out my hair, throw objects, and then just drink myself into a tequila stupor.
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