Ok maybe some people have fantastic in laws, but I don't know of any.
Last night we had our weekly visit to in laws of where they like us to stay for all hours. In which I don't agree as my son has a bed time, otherwise he gets very displeased and screams if he doesn't get placed in his cot for the night. MIL had some quips, of course. She remarked on how we only brought one bottle. Sorry, your grandson isn't old enough to stay out all day...and you don't put him to bed. It's my call. Then, she made another comment on how he needs to learn to eat with spoon. She had asked me about how trying rice cereal, and I told her he had through a special bottle. It didn't agree with him. Woman, do shut up! I will do what works for us. I'm surprised that's all the snide remarks she had for me; I suppose I should count myself lucky.
SIL (I like) and her lot are coming over from Italy for a funeral on Monday. This is the one that is pregnant yet again. She has a serious issue with taking her BC. If only it were that easy for some.
Anyways, Infertile Ingrid isn't looking forward to her appearance. It doesn't hurt as much as before, but I'm still a little jealous.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
I can't hide from the mommy club
I've had my first mother to mother encounter. *cringes*
A few weeks after I have birth, I ran into a former co worker while grocery shopping. She congratulated me on my baby and rambled on about how her friends don't have children, it is so difficult to get on with any if them. Before I knew it, she was handing me her contact information for future play dates. I'm sorry dear, but Infertile Ingrid is just not on board with having a lunch chat all about children. As much as I love my child, I'm just not comfortable talking about him incessantly. For one, I'm still learning day to day about parenting. Lastly, I have had enough "helpful advice" to process for a lifetime.
Don't get me wrong, I have a group of ladies I can consult. But I can't be one of those mothers who meet twice a week for a cuppa joe with other mothers, talk about their children till the cows come home, and then we assemble our fleet of prams for a leisurely stroll. Just, no. Lol.
A few weeks after I have birth, I ran into a former co worker while grocery shopping. She congratulated me on my baby and rambled on about how her friends don't have children, it is so difficult to get on with any if them. Before I knew it, she was handing me her contact information for future play dates. I'm sorry dear, but Infertile Ingrid is just not on board with having a lunch chat all about children. As much as I love my child, I'm just not comfortable talking about him incessantly. For one, I'm still learning day to day about parenting. Lastly, I have had enough "helpful advice" to process for a lifetime.
Don't get me wrong, I have a group of ladies I can consult. But I can't be one of those mothers who meet twice a week for a cuppa joe with other mothers, talk about their children till the cows come home, and then we assemble our fleet of prams for a leisurely stroll. Just, no. Lol.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
PD...when an infertile has it
I know we've scoffed at those fertiles with PD. How the hell can they be depressed, they are able to reproduce?!
When I got PD, I felt like the worst mother. I didn't resent my child, nor did I want to cause him any harm. He would get to the point of inconsolable crying and I couldn't do anything to soothe him. However, my DH could pick him up and he would instantly calm. What on earth was I doing wrong?! He was fed, clean nappy, and warm. I was calm, just sleep deprived, and in a normal mood. I'd only become frustrated with myself, when I couldn't soothe my own child. Was I really that crap of a mother a few weeks into motherhood? I felt like I had no business being a mother.
It got to the point of where I would start sobbing when he would be inconsolable. On those days DH was out of the house for a few hours doing other things, and I would ring him to come home. DH didn't make me feel any better by bringing up how will I cope when he gets a job. I was doing the best I could, after all I was infertile for 3 years. The transition into motherhood hadn't been smooth.
A couple of weeks later, the inconsolable fits ceased. I'm not sure what initially caused them, but thank goodness it is over with.
I've learned that there's a different side to PD. It happens, even when you love your child to pieces and are trying your best to meet their every need.
When I got PD, I felt like the worst mother. I didn't resent my child, nor did I want to cause him any harm. He would get to the point of inconsolable crying and I couldn't do anything to soothe him. However, my DH could pick him up and he would instantly calm. What on earth was I doing wrong?! He was fed, clean nappy, and warm. I was calm, just sleep deprived, and in a normal mood. I'd only become frustrated with myself, when I couldn't soothe my own child. Was I really that crap of a mother a few weeks into motherhood? I felt like I had no business being a mother.
It got to the point of where I would start sobbing when he would be inconsolable. On those days DH was out of the house for a few hours doing other things, and I would ring him to come home. DH didn't make me feel any better by bringing up how will I cope when he gets a job. I was doing the best I could, after all I was infertile for 3 years. The transition into motherhood hadn't been smooth.
A couple of weeks later, the inconsolable fits ceased. I'm not sure what initially caused them, but thank goodness it is over with.
I've learned that there's a different side to PD. It happens, even when you love your child to pieces and are trying your best to meet their every need.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Infertile Ingrid returns
Actually, she's never left.
I believe me missing being pregnant, is fueling my jealousy of more pregnant announcements. DH came home from his parents and gave me the news SIL (I like, that is stationed in Italy) is pregnant yet again. She told me she was just wanting 2, but I knew she would end up with a third. The girl can't properly take her BCP.
I'm not as upset, due to being lucky enough to have my son. Infertile Ingrid is just upset in the sense
she may not be able to have the family she always wanted. On the other hand, I should be happy with what I have since others may not even be able to achieve that. I'm not sure about a second go around..if it is even possible.
The OB did ask me what I wanted for BC and I just sniggered. I told him I was undecided at this time. An IF gets lucky and you want to throw BC at me?!! I'm not wasting money on that; it's just unnecessary. Of course my mother chimes in with she knows this neighbor of a friend who tried for 3 years, had a baby then got pregnant 2 months afterwards. Ughhhh. She had learned nothing of me correcting her when it comes to IF advice. If only it wasn't demeaning to spray her with water every time she says something "helpful" about IF.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Postpartum fun!
*Warning*
Please excuse my talk of blown out vagina, broken arsehole, and all profanities. There will also be a little talk of my newborn, he is pretty neat, but I will not go on and on.
Labour and delivery was 13 hours. They let me push for hours, which led to vaginal mush (OB's words) and a blown out arsehole. Thank god I elected for an epidural, as the doctor was down there reconstructing my lady bits for a half hour. The good doctor also loaded me up with narcotics, which I ran out of the other day. Boooo. Unfortunately it still hurts to have a BM. It feels like I'm passing chef knives through my rectum. Don't worry, I'm not whinging...in fact I see the humor behind it now! I'd gladly do it again, because my son is indeed worth it.
One odd thing I pointed out in LD was there was a large mirror in my room facing the bed. Who in their right mind wants to see their unshaved fanny in the mirror?!! I made MIL stand in front of it, so I wouldn't have to catch sight of my unkept lady bits. Yes, she begged me to attend the birth. I couldn't say no, as my husband would be displeased. She ended up being her usual overbearing self, in which my mother was unimpressed. If there happens to be a next time, I will not allow a party in LD.
......
As I've mentioned before, you still continue to receive unsolicited advice from mothers who know it all, because they've raised 5 children, breastfeed twins till they were 3 years of age, etc. One of the things every mother can get on a soapbox about is breast feeding. My husband was up my arse to do it, because it is natural. I believe it's because MIL encouraged it. She asked me every time about it. I will say I gave it a good try, but it wasn't for me and my son. Once we got it down, he wanted to feed every hour. In which I could not keep up with his demand, and didn't feel like getting even less sleep or being his dummy. Everyone says, "Breast is best!". For fucks sake, it even said on the side of the formula can! If a woman can keep up with supply and demand, more power to her. It's not my cup of tea.
All and all everything is good. Yeah, pregnancy can be rough (I had it easy) and newborns can be challenging in terms of postpartum depression and colic. With that being said, I'd still go on to say it does not compare of the devastating journey of IF. Not even close.
Please excuse my talk of blown out vagina, broken arsehole, and all profanities. There will also be a little talk of my newborn, he is pretty neat, but I will not go on and on.
Labour and delivery was 13 hours. They let me push for hours, which led to vaginal mush (OB's words) and a blown out arsehole. Thank god I elected for an epidural, as the doctor was down there reconstructing my lady bits for a half hour. The good doctor also loaded me up with narcotics, which I ran out of the other day. Boooo. Unfortunately it still hurts to have a BM. It feels like I'm passing chef knives through my rectum. Don't worry, I'm not whinging...in fact I see the humor behind it now! I'd gladly do it again, because my son is indeed worth it.
One odd thing I pointed out in LD was there was a large mirror in my room facing the bed. Who in their right mind wants to see their unshaved fanny in the mirror?!! I made MIL stand in front of it, so I wouldn't have to catch sight of my unkept lady bits. Yes, she begged me to attend the birth. I couldn't say no, as my husband would be displeased. She ended up being her usual overbearing self, in which my mother was unimpressed. If there happens to be a next time, I will not allow a party in LD.
......
As I've mentioned before, you still continue to receive unsolicited advice from mothers who know it all, because they've raised 5 children, breastfeed twins till they were 3 years of age, etc. One of the things every mother can get on a soapbox about is breast feeding. My husband was up my arse to do it, because it is natural. I believe it's because MIL encouraged it. She asked me every time about it. I will say I gave it a good try, but it wasn't for me and my son. Once we got it down, he wanted to feed every hour. In which I could not keep up with his demand, and didn't feel like getting even less sleep or being his dummy. Everyone says, "Breast is best!". For fucks sake, it even said on the side of the formula can! If a woman can keep up with supply and demand, more power to her. It's not my cup of tea.
All and all everything is good. Yeah, pregnancy can be rough (I had it easy) and newborns can be challenging in terms of postpartum depression and colic. With that being said, I'd still go on to say it does not compare of the devastating journey of IF. Not even close.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Dec 12 eviction date
Yeah, I'm getting induced. Not entirely thrilled about it, but it is necessary and I don't wish to risk him any longer in there. He wiggles about and stretches out my tum like he's restless, yet he won't come out on his own. Stubborn baby.
I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless for tomorrow. I spent the last 3 years yearning for our baby, the pregnancy, and all the joys that come with it. Now that the final result is literally around the corner, I can't help but be ridden with anxiety.
-Holy shit, I'm going to be a mother!
-What if I cannot get my baby to stop crying? Does that make me a crap mother?
-I can burp him by supporting his head and doing it over the shoulder? Why in the world would you want to do it over your lap?
-My husband is on board to be hands on, I hope he doesn't bail to his parent's home when it starts to get rough.
I've read those baby books, but my head is still spinning with information. Everyone has a different opinion or way of going about raising their child. I know how to be infertile and am quite educated on the matter, I just don't know how to be a mother. Frankly, I can read every piece of literature on the subject and still feel ignorant!
Alright, I need to stop psyching myself out. I'll be fine. Hopefully.
I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless for tomorrow. I spent the last 3 years yearning for our baby, the pregnancy, and all the joys that come with it. Now that the final result is literally around the corner, I can't help but be ridden with anxiety.
-Holy shit, I'm going to be a mother!
-What if I cannot get my baby to stop crying? Does that make me a crap mother?
-I can burp him by supporting his head and doing it over the shoulder? Why in the world would you want to do it over your lap?
-My husband is on board to be hands on, I hope he doesn't bail to his parent's home when it starts to get rough.
I've read those baby books, but my head is still spinning with information. Everyone has a different opinion or way of going about raising their child. I know how to be infertile and am quite educated on the matter, I just don't know how to be a mother. Frankly, I can read every piece of literature on the subject and still feel ignorant!
Alright, I need to stop psyching myself out. I'll be fine. Hopefully.
Friday, December 6, 2013
No baby, just yet.
The wee one wants to stay in there and keep eating such good food. Lol. I'm going to discuss an eviction date Monday with the OB, as they won't let me go past the 14th.
Nursery is completely finished. I'm just waiting on some storage bins to arrive and we need to take a second look at a rocking recliner. My father's house renovations are coming along nicely. I don't mind painting as it is water based, but hopefully he hires someone to do the carpet. I can't be bothered, as I know squat about carpentry. Our room is still under construction, so we're shacking up with his parents for a little while.
I've been getting on with MIL just fine.....until..........she told me one night the reason I was pregnant was because of God. Also, her and her church group had been praying for the pregnancy. Now because of dealing with IF for so long, my faith has been flushed down the loo. I felt that was such a patronizing thing to say! That's fine, if she wants to believe that. Just don't force your comments onto me, when I say it was sheer dumb luck. Anatomically, a sufficient amount of sperm (when my husband's count is low) aided one sperm penetrating the ova. Timing was finally accurate. How that happened after 3 years, I don't know. But I wouldn't solely say it was all God. I asked God everyday for 2 years. Infertility was breaking me and my marriage down. He never answered. Thus I figured he had more important requests or was just outright ignoring me. That's when my faith went down the shitter.
Anyways, I've been very lucky to have a good pregnancy with no issues. It's comical, as everyday I wake up and still check under the duvet to make sure I have a bump. As if I'm going to wake up from this dream. Even though I'm excited and nervous for his arrival, I'll certainly miss the pregnant part.
Nursery is completely finished. I'm just waiting on some storage bins to arrive and we need to take a second look at a rocking recliner. My father's house renovations are coming along nicely. I don't mind painting as it is water based, but hopefully he hires someone to do the carpet. I can't be bothered, as I know squat about carpentry. Our room is still under construction, so we're shacking up with his parents for a little while.
I've been getting on with MIL just fine.....until..........she told me one night the reason I was pregnant was because of God. Also, her and her church group had been praying for the pregnancy. Now because of dealing with IF for so long, my faith has been flushed down the loo. I felt that was such a patronizing thing to say! That's fine, if she wants to believe that. Just don't force your comments onto me, when I say it was sheer dumb luck. Anatomically, a sufficient amount of sperm (when my husband's count is low) aided one sperm penetrating the ova. Timing was finally accurate. How that happened after 3 years, I don't know. But I wouldn't solely say it was all God. I asked God everyday for 2 years. Infertility was breaking me and my marriage down. He never answered. Thus I figured he had more important requests or was just outright ignoring me. That's when my faith went down the shitter.
Anyways, I've been very lucky to have a good pregnancy with no issues. It's comical, as everyday I wake up and still check under the duvet to make sure I have a bump. As if I'm going to wake up from this dream. Even though I'm excited and nervous for his arrival, I'll certainly miss the pregnant part.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)