Why are people already asking me if I'm going to have another?!

His aunt asked me this.
His cousins did as well.
Family friends asked.
And MIL asked. In which that one irks me, as she knows we've faced IF. Seriously woman, must you ask me that?

I just replied to all of them, if we're able to, we will try to have another. Right now, I'd like to concentrate on the one, I thought I would never have.

Infertile Ingrid tells me not to push my luck, take what I can and never go back to that dark place again. Pregnant Penelope says I should not compromise my initial dream of having 2 children due to IF. She points out that I am strong enough to push it further and achieve the second child. I'm conflicted over it.

If people hadn't asked me this weekend, it wouldn't even be a pondering thought in my head right now! It really shouldn't be. I need to focus on my son, and people need to keep their inquiries to themselves. This is why I don't like speaking about my pregnancy to others. I cannot understand for the life of me, why pregnant women share every little detail. Bragging rights? They like to dominate the conversation? They're smug, showy cows? Who knows.

I somehow survived!

The party was bigger than expected and outside in humid 90 (F) weather. Every time, I turned around someone was inquiring about how I was feeling or my due date. I had never received such attention from the in-law's extended family. The only positive about the heat was I was able to excuse myself inside to cool off, and mainly escape more questions about my pregnancy. Festivities lasted until 7pm  when everyone was pissed, because they've been drinking since 1pm.

MIL has been acting interested about the pregnancy. She's glad she is gaining another grandchild since the 3 from SIL (I hate) barely speak to them and live on the other side of the country, and the other 2 are leaving the States. She went to ask questions about everything including if I was having a baby shower. I told her I am not....no one has said anything about throwing one, and neither side of my family has had one. They're all old school Scottish, English, Russian, Polish, and Italian. However I would not turn down gifts, even used baby items. She didn't seem satisfied with that answer.

I feel slightly disappointed I'm not having one, then again I do not. There are kind friends of the family that are making me blankets, people have passed on baby clothes, and working my peon job has afforded me the baby items I want. I don't have to sit there and be fussed over, smelling "poo" in the nappies trying to guess which chocolates it is, or do I have to deal with the hassle of returning thousands of bibs when you only need so many. I wouldn't dare throw one for myself, that just seems tacky. Sorry MIL, you will live without a baby shower.

A pregnant woman walks into a bar

As it is my SIL and her husband's going away party today, they are requesting my husband and I join them out tonight. In which, I'm sure it will be at the local pub/bar.

I'm at a loss here, as it is dreadfully tacky and bad form for a pregnant woman to go to a bar. I have however had lunch in a pub while pregnant, but that's only for the food of course and at lunch time. Let me tell you, I still got disapproving looks from the bar hags erm, maids.

Not sure what to do, here. Do I uphold the proper etiquette and form, or let it fall by the wayside for this one night?

It's an in-law kind of weekend

SIL (I like) is having their going away party this weekend, before her and the children (2) fly to Italy to reside for the next 2 years. It won't be some showy party, but just a mild amount of people. Mainly in-laws family, friends, and her husband's family.

I'm not really looking forward to it, because I will have to mingle with people asking me questions about my pregnancy. Although I'm used to the pregnancy, I still don't feel comfortable talking to others about it. I feel it's none of their business. There's just no need to go on and on about OB's, doctor appointments, discharge, or even listen to their exaggerated C-section story. I'd like to privately enjoy this moment, since I'm very lucky to be experiencing it, with my husband and family.

Hopefully, I survive the weekend with 2 families....that aren't particularly fond of one another. Hehe

Etsy Rant 2

This time I ordered a cute Dr. Suess blanket, with adorable patchwork print and backed with that minky fabric. It was a custom order, so it was made clear on the page 3-4 week production time. No problem, as I'm in no hurry. Note, that this is a notorious shop on Etsy that even celebrities have ordered from. Tori Spelling, if you consider her reputable. I do not.

The shop owner PMs me to let me know she is putting my blanket in the post today. I was pleased, even though I was expecting to wait 3-4 weeks. Thursday, I stalked our rude postman to see if my parcel had arrived. If you've ever ordered anything off of Folksy or Etsy, you're anticipating seeing the quality custom work. Then spend the next 30 minutes in awe, that people have that sort of talent. That moment when you pull it out of the package, is everything. I pull it out of the package and frown. 

The blanket was covered in these dark brown hairs. It's as if they let their animal wallow all over my son's blanket, that I paid good money for. Sorely disappointed, I march back up to my flat and leave crap feedback for the owner. If there was only a small patch, I wouldn't be fussed....the amount of hair and crap presentation from a notorious shop is unacceptable. 

I'm guessing the owner gets a PM alert of she gets crap feedback, as she PMed me back. A rather I unapologetic PM, and saying I'm trying to defame her shop as she doesn't own any pets. Instead, the fibers were minky. I understand that minky sheds when cut, but that is a lot of brown minky fibers. I also pointed out that no where on her shop site or page listings does she state she is pet free. She kept relentlessly PMing me to change my crap review. Just take it as constructive criticism and stfu! 

After the second day of this, I ignore her PMs and she sends me a email showing thru PayPal she refunded my shipping price. At this point, the woman is begging me to edit my review about the hairs. Thing is I can only edit it to positive, which of course she did not deserve. Especially since she is acting like a pest! I edited the review, but still threw in my disappointment about unidentified hairs.  

Never will I do business with her again! Sheesh.

Organic people, hippies.

Now, I do love some organic foods and products. I like Aveda Natural Alternatives, Burt's Bees, Jason, Seventh Generation to name a few. But I don't fully invest myself in that organic lifestyle. Number one it's too expensive, and two I cannot pull off the Boho chic look.

With that being said, I don't know what on earth is the organic mother's problem. I always thought they were friendly, literally down to earth people. Wrong!

You know the women who frown at strollers because they like to carry their babies like they're Native Americans, cloth diaper, and strictly breast feed till their children are in secondary school. They also don't believe in waxing services. I suppose their husbands get off on their bushy eyebrows and hairy upper lip. Yes, Tarquin's mother. But yet they still maintain a snooty, "I am better than you because, I am green" attitude. Yeah well I like the convenience of throw away tampons, toilet roll, I don't have to do laundry daily...and my washer doesn't smell like poo! Put that in your hash pipe and choke on it!

Note: I came across some reuseable, cloth menstrual pads the other day in one of those crazy organic shops. They hardly looked absorbent and would maybe suffice at the end of the cycle. Certainly not for those with a heavy flow! Who the hell wants to do more laundry anyways? Now running up the water and electric bill, is hardly eco-friendly.

I should've stayed in bed today

It started off as one of those days...

I got my lazy bum up around 10am, as I needed to go to the post office before it closed at 12. This trip I was dreading, as the post office brings out some colorful people. The last time I was standing in line waiting to send a parcel, the man behind me was still in his pajamas and reeked of used kitty litter!!!!!! It was foul. I'm not sure of whether he accidentally fell on the box while trying to clean it and couldn't be bothered to change....or he had woke up in one. Vile.

On my way to mail my parcel, I nearly rear ended someone who couldn't drive. I also questioned their legality of a citizenship in the US. All flustered and upset for almost having an accident, I arrive to a nearly empty post office. Thank you, God.

There's this little counter that is in front of the postal counter of where you line up around. However, at this little counter was a woman standing there filling out info on her parcel and deciding if she needed any extra bits. Everyone knows if you are at this counter prepping your parcel, you are not in line. I went past her and stood first in line. There was no visible post clerk at the counter, so I waited for one to show. The woman gets done filling her info and stands close to me. Then, the clerk shows asking for the next in line. This rude ass woman wearing an. "I love Jesus" cap nearly knocks me over pushing past me looking at me and saying excuse me. I look at her with disgust as she pushes past. Bitch, you were not in line when I walked in! I was next! That wasn't very Christian of her!!!

Normally I would've corrected a rude person like that, but I didn't have the energy to argue and I was already having a crap day. Why make it worse by getting into an argument with this rude, hardly Christian cow?

All I know is she better ask for forgiveness tomorrow in Sunday's service.

Ingrid, the infertile side of me

I've decided to name the infertile side of me, that isn't going to ever go away. She's here to say and has already made herself at home. Since I'm feeling schizo trying to balance pregnancy and the infertile mind, I've decided she should have a name (and one I'm not fond of). Wow, I really sound off my rocker. I promise, I'm not!

Ingrid has been acting out lately. As stupid as this sounds, I still get a twinge of jealousy over baby announcements. Ridiculous, isn't it? Ingrid overcomes me when I first walk into baby shops (I get fear and anxiety) and in the doctor's office. All the newborns, children, and bumps still give me anxiety. I'm not understanding why either. Perhaps, I should've paid closer attention in Psych classes.

Then Ingrid gets to thinking, will I ever have a second child? Should I just be happy with what I have and call it day? I'm afraid to go back to the beginning of the line, to that dark place. DH wants another and so do I, to an extent. I suppose we'll see, when that time comes.

Is it almost time?

I'm nervous. Besides my husband (he's the last one), another soldier just got processed medically out of the Army. I have a feeling he is next.

I'm losing my marbles, because I have not finished buying everything for our new addition. We still have the pram-pushchair and some little items. The little items aren't a big deal, but I at least want the pram-pushchair bought before he gets released and while I am still working. If the truck wouldn't have broke down and we didn't shell out body parts to pay for it, I'd already have my pram! It also doesn't help they've chopped my hours, and that we're having to spend extra money in petrol to see SIL and kids before they move to Italy.

Hopefully I can buy another month....and really pinch my earnings.

Note: I'm really not trying to have a woah as me moment here. I know people have it much worse than I do. We'll manage to get everything in order ahead of time. I'm that type of person who becomes unhinged if I'm not prepared. More or less just airing my thoughts, as I have no one to talk to about this.