Please note, this is just to poke a little fun at pregnancy and have a chuckle at the experience.
In no particular order....
-Your vagina is too sore to endure any sexual activity or frankly you're too tired. Husband is requesting a blow job. Brushing your teeth makes you gag, and he wants his pecker in your mouth?!
-You refuse to purchase new larger knickers (granny panties), but the ones you have are becoming uncomfortable with your expanding waistline. So you snip the stretchy waistband, essentially ruining your knickers. However, you feel better!
-There's a line at the loo in the rest stops along the interstate. You're half-tempted to use the men's, as there is no line.
-Your hand is a little too puffy to wear your wedding band set. Now you have to go the rest of the day looking like a unwed pregnant woman, receiving disapproving looks.
-The antibiotics you took to get rid of your UTI gave you a yeast infection and your anus itches from hemorrhoids. You've got 6 days until your next OB appointment and your old school doctor doesn't phone in prescriptions.
1) Amen sister. 2nd trimester I'm more randy but don't want sex. Glad my other half has a fake vagina to do his biz, lol.
ReplyDelete2) Genius!!!!! I was considering going underwear-less at home but ewwww, talk about discharge. Another thing they don't tell you! You may not get a period but you get gross milky white discharge all the f'n time.
3) I am tempted to buy the pee thing for women that let's them pee like a man in the bushes.
4) Not there yet. Does not sounds fun. :( It's okay though babies, we'll rip our assholes up for yous!