It sucks that I look like the bitch.

After much debate, I deleted my SIL from FB. I had the decency to send her a message before hand. She didn't return the favor. Instead, she goes whining to everyone else but me..My husband comes home and asks me if it was really necessary. Yes, yes it was. And if he bothered to even understand how I felt, then he wouldn't have to ask. So as a result, I look like the bitch.

My husband and I ended up fighting over it last night. I felt that he was siding with her. My husband hasn't been there for me during this hard time, even though he should be. Then I look on his FB today and come to find out, he messaged her trying to smooth things over. At the end he says that he's there for her and his brother if they need him. Seriously? Where the fuck have you been when I've been dealing with infertility issues alone? When it's not even my fault we can't have a baby? I know, I need to stop thinking like that, but I have soooo much sadness built up that's turning into anger.

She replies back and has the audacity to call me selfish, that she doesn't need me bringing her down, that she's talking to the wrong person about ttc, and that this is something that isn't to be forgotten. Excuse me??? She has no right to call me selfish, when she hasn't even bothered to talk to me about it. Her fucking ttc struggle has ended, she's blessed with twins and another on the way!!!! Her doctor didn't tell her there was nothing more they could do for her. They got lucky and Clomid worked for them on the fucking first try!!! So she has no god given right to sit there and say I don't know what struggling to conceive is. Guess what? I do because I'm still fucking going thru it!

So I sent her another message and this one was bitchy, I honestly don't care..If she can't bring herself to put herself in my shoes and really try to understand how I feel then that's not my fault. I said I was sorry, my first message was heartfelt. If she wants to hold it against me, then take it to your grave bitch. Never once did I say that I wanted nothing to do with her, I congratulated her on the news, told her I was happy for her deep down inside, but at the moment I just can't express it. If she's going to sit there and try to make me out to be the bad guy, then go right ahead. It just tells me what kind of person she is, a fake one.

If she doesn't respond this time, that tells me she has no sympathy or care to understand of what I'm going thru, and is placing the blame on me for our relationship falling apart. She'll be dead to me then. I mean it's unfortunate because when they come to visit, I will avoid her like the plague. But I wasn't the one who said nasty comments to her husband. I just can't call someone like that family.