I suppose I made a friend in a pregnant cow

Lately I've been feeling emotional over LTTC...that I've been ending up in tears at work. Embarrassing.  Nothing regarding work whatsoever, it's just that I've reached my breaking point.

I was busy cranking away at work when the newly pregnant one tried to announce her pregnancy to me, and my workmate (who I had been previously disappointed in) interrupted her. Thank god. Then I walked to the stockroom to get more supplies and I had realized they had talked about me. I figured my workmate reminded the pregnant cow about my infertility.

Anyways, we were in the lounge later and it was a bit awkward. I addressed the elephant in the room. I explained the IF and how I feel towards pregnant women, hoping she wouldn't take it personal. Sort of used to being judged by now and called selfish. Surprisingly, she understood and wasn't at all offended.  I had mini breakdown #2 and she even gave me a hug. Thus resulting in some sort of friendship. *Sigh*

I also learned about her that their situation isn't the greatest as she's the only one working, he got medically discharged from the Army. They also live with his grandparents. She'd rather move in with her mother in GA, before the baby comes. Meaning, I won't have to see her belly grow and she'll be moving before too long.

Another thing that's been bothering me is every time my husband's parents call, they ask when we're coming to visit. He always spouts off, he isn't sure and moves onto another topic. I've repeatedly told him to tell them the truth instead of dodging the question. It's because I didn't have a good Christmas last year with hearing all about SIL (I hate)'s pregnancy.  Because I don't feel like being around the other pregnant SIL's 8 month bump and crying everyday! It's so much harder to face a pregnancy in the family, than a pregnant cow on the street I can scold and run away from. I'm faced with the fact we're the only ones who haven't conceived and they've even completed their families! I have to see that motherly love being dangled in front of my face. It's just too hard to face it anymore.