Don't ever tell me "It will happen when it happens."

 The only people who believe that are those who aren't even trying for a baby and either A. already have one, B. those who have previously tried then gave up then it magically happened, or C. those who don't have any children period, let alone a husband, and then you have your D. optimists.

 I will seriously cause the next person who says that to me physical pain. Guess why it's not going to happen when it happens, because my husband has a fucking low sperm count! Yes, it was confirmed yesterday that my husband has a low count. So I'm doing everything the websites say to increase them. No more hot baths, taking his multivitamin, and cutting out the tobacco. There's nothing we can do about the stress, and even stressed out people conceive babies. Also the baby and medical websites have listed if this doesn't increase the sperm, then either A. we try forever naturally or B. we look into insemination or IVF which will cost an arm and a leg. Why must a natural act that's supposed to be free cost the same as a new car?

  As I stated last time, we have this cycle and maybe next to conceive naturally. After that he deploys for a year..we'll see how I'll hold up. I'm probably going to fall apart and end up in a psycho ward. Great now I'm crying again. I just stopped crying today, I couldn't stop the tears yesterday. I wish we had the money to do the insemination now, but we're going to have to wait. Oh I forgot to mention when I received the results, I called my gyno to see what was the next move for me. He said it would be a waste of time to run any more tests on me, and to put me on Clomid since my husband is the one with the issue. Then he referred me to a fertility specialist in Saint Louis. Extremely heartbreaking and devastating to hear those words, to be told that you are at that point you didn't you think you would be at.

 To top it off, my husband doesn't want IVF but I'm willing to do whatever it takes. So that's causing a rift in our marriage. Honestly, I don't want to have to go thru any of this but if that's my only choice then I have to.

  Of course this stress is put on me right before my ovulation time. When I'm slightly counting for this time or maybe next to be it.

 Where does one draw the line at trying to conceive naturally? Do you wait till this last minute, his cut off age and your before you try to do the fertility treatments? Do you do it when we'll have some of the $?

 I guess my answer is to try these last maybe 2 months and then when he comes back from deployment, take what money we have and try the insemination, then the IVF if that doesn't work.