It's a new month, and another shot at trying to achieve my goal.

So it's January, a new year hopefully new things to come. However, if my husband deploys in Feb then I won't get my pregnancy this year. I'm really hoping that it gets pushed off a little further, that way I can buy more time. He could very well get certified in Feb and be on a plane to Afghanistan all in the same month. The likeliness of that happening isn't very high, but there's still a slight one. Then the next slot after Feb is March to deploy, but I'm uncertain about the certification times. They don't seem to come all that often.
Even if he did deploy and I wasn't pregnant then I keep telling myself I can just channel all my energy and mindset into school rather wallowing in despair. I'm actually afraid of how I will act when it comes down to the deployment and I have yet to get pregnant. Not going to be a pretty sight.

Other than that worry, I've been keeping pretty positive and trying to be stress free. It's working so far, until my husband pisses me off. It's day 13 of my cycle, and I'm going to buy more ovulation tests today. Still charting my temp, although the last few weeks my chart is all jacked up with being home and waking up at different times. But today, I'm back on schedule. Sometimes this whole schedule is exhausting, but at least no one can tell me I didn't try hard enough.

More girls I know have become pregnant, then they're finding out the sex of their baby. It's nauseating, and annoying to be off of Facebook then come back to that. Don't people have anything better to do? Another thing that irks me is that I know other girls that are trying for their second child and bitching about how long it's taking them. Seriously? Shut the fuck up, I'm struggling to get my first..maybe my last. I hate this feeling of wanting to be a mother, I wish I didn't have this feeling. But it won't go away until it happens. For now I've got to play the waiting game.